Square Grouper, coming soon.

squaregroupermovie.com

and the facebook page.

A half-assed tour of Miami.

Savannah, GA.

Very…quaint.

Sneads and Tallahassee, FL.

On the way to shoot a prison interview in Sneads, FL.

Shantytown Under Julia Tuttle Remains Proof that Florida is Ass Backwards.

(I’d use my own picture…but there’s no fucking way I’d go down there to take one. Wait- why is there a little boy down there???)

How is this still going on? And why is Satan’s law firm, the ACLU, the only body genuinely attempting to rectify the situation?

It isn’t just the human rights violations inherent in forcing ~100 men to live under a bridge in oppressive heat with virtually no electricity or water (which is undeniable, even if said men enjoy fisting 9 year-old boys.) The real issue is the inability of the DOC to keep the others under wraps.

Of 259 offenders listed as “transient,” 106 have ABSCONDED. I haven’t researched the magical world of sex offender management extensively, but I’m guessing the inability to locate 41% of sex offenders and predators is objectively preposterous. I’d also assume that these numbers were substantially lower before legislation mandating pervert apartheid was passed. I calculated Fulton County, GA’s sex offender absconsion rate, too…it’s about 10%.

The offenders who are at least superficially law-abiding live in tents under a fucking bridge, and the ones who aren’t…almost half of the people we’ve deemed unsuitable to live among us…

…are loose; free to rape, batter, and flash with abandon.

Miami: as shitty and dangerous as it was in the ’80′s…without all the drug money to prop it up.

Almost weekly, newspapers and magazines publish surveys denouncing Miami as “the worst” of something.

These surveys are spot-on.

My pictures from various third world countries and Miami made for a fun game: “Is it Miami, or is it Haiti?” (Other variations include: “Is it Miami, or is it the Dominican Republic?” and “Is it Miami, or is it Jamaica?”) I’ve fooled even longtime residents of Miami.

Take a guess!

(Ok, this one’s too easy. It’s Miami, obviously.)

3rd most dangerous. There have been so many shoot-outs at the club across the street from my residence that when they occur, they’re no longer deemed newsworthy.

9th most miserable. If Miami weren’t so warm, it’d undoubtedly be in the top 3.

I happen to disagree with this one. I’ve driven in LA. I’ve driven in DC. Only in Miami do I find myself trapped in the left lane on the highway behind an oblivious old Cuban man going 30 MPH in a cargo van twice a week.

This is especially appalling when you consider that ALL the cities preceding it on the list have substantially higher median incomes than that of Miami.

Second only to Detroit. DETROIT!

Ohio State v. USC; Columbus, OH 09/12/09

I went to OSU v. USC last weekend.

I believe the SEC to be the only half-decent conference in the NCAA. Besides, people in the Midwest are too fucking polite. I don’t think one person said an unkind word to me. Walking to the stadium at any SEC game, fans of the rival team will scream profanities at you. Five year-old girls will pelt you with cups of beer. That’s the way it ought to be.